It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
