he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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