who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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