How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
