Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
