I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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