After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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