hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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