I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Randomize
