omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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