I'm gonna have a badass scar
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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