i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
