i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
