just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
