S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
