i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
