The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
