Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
another moral hangover. fuck.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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