i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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