I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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