Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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