Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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