i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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