she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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