I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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