it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize