no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
