My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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