Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
