I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
