it was like eating out sand paper
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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