hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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