This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I want to have your abortion
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
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I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
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After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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