she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
