what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
