piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
don't judge my taste in strippers
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
