whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
