There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
