You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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