awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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