Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
