worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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