I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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