we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize