it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
