so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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