at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you didnt know i had herpes?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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