if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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