home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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