so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
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