Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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