STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
smell my finger.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
