We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Drake has all the answers
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize