Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I wear drunk well.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
