your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize