He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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