I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
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And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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