I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
