Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
