I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize