How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
