Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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